5 Days Later
5 days post-op and I finally feel like I wasn’t *JUST* hit by a bus!
I do still feel quite fragile but I was able to get out of the house today and get a haircut. I feel somewhat cute again, HUGE win. I know its superficial but it feels super deep so I go with it. Whatever brings you healing, right? When you feel like crap it’s really the little things that feel like giant victories and you have to celebrate them, whatever they are. For example, yesterday I cleaned my surfaces and watered my plants and I swear I felt like a fucking rockstar sipping Kombucha (or shall I say, ‘Danbucha’) out of a wine glass afterwards. LOL.
I’m not going to lie, it does feels like sort of strange cosmic joke that some of my first officially lucid moments after my surgery were spent listening to the 2020 Democratic Presidential debates in which healthcare is a obviously a MASSIVE topic. Needless to say, I stand firmly in the opinion that our current system IS NOT WORKING for most Americans and nearly EVERYONE would appreciate an upgrade. Healthcare is a human right in terms of morality even if it’s not written in black in white. We all know it’s already written in our hearts and if you choose to not listen to that moral code, you might just be heartless. It cannot be a constant financial burden to get the help we really need, especially when it comes to women and our reproductive rights. Which, by the way, is something that affects ALL families and people, including the ones BEING BORN, and truly determines the health of our future generations so seriously.
SO, LET’S GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE.
Anyway, back to my recovery. We’ll come back to politics later…
Overall, I can already see improvements in my body’s wellbeing. Every morning for about the past two years, I was waking up with a snotty nose, puffy eyes, and phlegm in my throat. Since my surgery, I’ve woken up with completely clear sinuses, no coughing, no sneezing, no blowing my nose for an hour everyday - it’s fan-fucking-tastic! Also! I have so much more freedom peeing! I had no idea that was even a thing. Seriously. Just goes to show how easy it is to get used to being blocked off physically or energetically and not even notice it. We get so used to being stuck and then we forget what it was like to be unstuck. And if you do it for long enough, you don’t even know the difference until you feel free. So, that’s another huge win! Yay, pee!
Mostly, while I’m still in a large degree of pain and can only move at the pace of a tortoise, I am feeling so joyful and so fucking grateful.
I’m grateful for all the people in my life that rallied around me and reminded me how strong I am. I’m grateful for my doctor, my nurses, and my amazing caretaker for the past week/forever - Big Poppa (aka, Dan. Same Dan as ‘Danbucha.’ #TGFD) I’m grateful for Reiki. I’m grateful for meditation, yoga, crystals, acupuncture, and mantras like “I am valuable.” I’m grateful for my teachers. My family. My friends. My pets. My food. My Mother Earth. MY FIRST BOWEL MOVEMENT! (also today, another yay!)
I’m grateful for every inch of my body that is showing up with healing and regenerative energy to support me as I grow stronger through this experience.
I may have had my body somewhat “broken” open but I chose to see it as a crack that only allowed for more light to get in. And as I grow stronger through my recovery, that light will grow brighter so that more and more people become aware of the hidden struggle too many of our women are burdened with physically, financially, emotionally, and right now very much so, politically. I mean, come on… why is this on us to fix?
Why the fuck are we even still talking about this?! Arguing over this?! Fighting for this?!
Reproductive health care shouldn’t be a fight, it should be a given.
As a society, we should be investing in the very miraculous mechanism that creates life, rather than taxing it, creating restrictions on it, and even banning it in some cases. There are profit-seeking, fear-filled people out there who are literally making it downright impossible to have autonomy over our own bodies unless we have the socio-economic status to withstand the financial burden of it.
And before you’re like “who the heck would do that?!” think about it for a second. The people who benefit from the rich staying rich and the poor staying poor would do that. The people who benefit from the sick staying sick would do that. The people who are too afraid to see what a female driven economy would look like would do that. Insurance companies would do that. Medical device companies would do that. Career politicians who want nothing but to win their next election and keep their power, status, and fat pockets full of Big Pharma money would do that. And yes, it’s the same money that is made by selling about 80% of all the antibiotics manufactured in the US to our meat industry (among other atrocious acts) to keep us nice and sick, chained to the system, and constantly in need of expensive sick-care rather than healthcare. Need I say more?
Bottom line. Women make people, and people continue our species, systems, and everything about our way of life so it’s about time we all stand up for what is RIGHT for the sake of all of us.
These are the issues in our face right now more so than ever before and I know that it’s kind of anxiety inducing and annoying to think about it but there’s no other way it could be. There’s a reason we have anxiety as a natural human response. Getting anxious, annoyed, or hot and bothered about something is what makes us DO SOMETHING about it and make a change. So, it’s not all bad. We can spin this into the fuel for hope rather than succumb to the quicksand of fear and hate.
We really have a fighting chance at making the system better for everyone if we work together as a team that says HEALTH CARE IS AN AFFORDABLE AND INALIENABLE RIGHT. And make it clear that it’s totally fucked to make someone have to hit a $7,500 deductible when they need to have a surgery to treat a chronic disease and already shell out half a grand a month for insurance that won’t even cover an OBGYN so every time they go in, it’s another $80 bill - as if it’s a “special” condition to be a woman. Not to fucking mention the medicine needed to keep that chronic disease from coming back, which for many women might be considered a form of birth control and could be denied to them based on the state, provider, and/or employer they might have.
Nothing about any of the above is right.
And if this experience has mobilized me to do anything, it’s to shout it from the rooftops as loud as I can.
THE FUTURE IS FEMALE.
SHE IS YOUR MOTHER, YOUR SISTER, YOUR WIFE, YOUR TEACHER, YOUR PLANET, OUR HOME — OUR ULTIMATE MODEL OF A COMPLETE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM THAT (when left uninterrupted by greedy human behavior) SUPPORTS THE WELLBEING OF ALL OF ITS INHABITANTS.
SHE IS OUR FUTURE.
AND, LEST WE FORGET, REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.
Marianne Williamson said it best tonight, “we don’t have a healthcare system in this country, we have a sick-care system.” We need to erase this outdated way of thinking that is put profits over people and focus on taking care of the systematic environmental, chemical, and physiological toxins of fear that are ruling the way that we do EVERYTHING. From insurance, to energy, to policy, to our overall moral and simply being a freaking good neighbor, even and ESPECIALLY if your neighbors don’t look or think like you.
And you know who’s typically really good at making everyone feel welcome, protected, cared for, heard, and nourished? WOMEN. So let’s take care of them shall we?
I truly was inspired by Kirsten Gillibrand’s platform, her responses, and overall candor throughout the entire debate and feel strongly she is a huge advocate for women. I’m looking forward to hearing more from her and all the candidates. I’m especially looking forward to having meaningful conversations with my peers of all viewpoints on all of the vital topics particularly as it pertains to health care, feminism, reproductive, and human rights that support the wellbeing of EVERYONE — most urgently the families and especially the children currently being detained at our border and ripped out of their homes by ICE.
I’ll talk more about that in my next diary entry and how I think this is an energetic crisis that rules all of our Root & Sacral Chakras.
Whether you are conscious to it or not, we are all feeling the pain that these families are being forced to endure at the hands of the people we voted into office and we are all responsible to do something about it.
May you be well, may you love, may you be loved, may you know peace, and may you feel joy, safety, security, and abundance.
With Love,
P
